The Forbidden's Revenge
by lose-your-voice
Summary: SEQUEL to 'The Soul That Found It's Missing Piece'The Forbidden are now in search of their missing leader. To what extent will their go to retrive her? To what extent Will Kusota go to stay with Gaara? GaaraXOc
1. An Arrival

Chapter 1:

"An Arrival"

_It's been…how long now?_

_A day?_

_A week?_

_A month?_

_Or a year?_

_The clock says a week but it seems longer than that._

_I can feel them, almost hear them speaking._

_They are investigating how to find me._

_They need me because…_

_Of my strange abilities._

_I can control the darkness._

Light poured in on my fragile face. Back in the other dimension, my curtains would always be up and I would usually train in the shade. I would be an assassin by night. That was all past me now. I was back home with the ones I finally realized I loved.

Gaara had taken me to my brother and mother. Mahaku wrapped me around his arms while my mother cried. They missed me, they actually missed me. I smiled with tears glistening in my eyes when I realized it.

Even Gaara was glad I was back, he told me he'd been searching for me but I wasn't anywhere to be found.

I wondered if I should have told them, told them everything. They wouldn't believe me so I kept my secret hidden. Maybe they would have believed me, no I think not. Well whether they like it or not, they have to face my truth.

I am not the girl I used to be.

I have murdered, killed dozens of innocents. I've felt their blood on my hands without remorse. Maybe I feel guilty because of my actions, I know I feel sadness. The girl that was emotionless, before meeting Gaara was back. I couldn't smile anymore even when looking at Gaara. The egret was too much. What would have happened if I never became one of the Forbidden? Would Gaara and I be more than just friends?

Sure my grades have improved, but that's also a mystery. I understand more now, I am more aware of my senses, I can control my emotions. What exactly Kashaku did to me I do not know. Maybe I can return to my innocence because it was stolen from me.

Flashbacks from my time in the Forbidden poured and filled my mind. The images and tears of despair made themselves clear to me. Was I Kusota Hurakai or Hateshi, leader of the Forbidden?

Only time would tell.

I tasted the blood in my mouth, a metallic taste. I had bitten my tongue accidentally and blood now oozed out of my wound. The teacher drowned on about something I could already understand. I had completed my homework with time to spare.

Gaara was absent from school today. That wasn't like him. I could never remember Gaara ever falling ill. Ever since the day I met him. It seemed so long ago but it was only about 4 or 5months.

I still kept my old hobby of reading instead of eating lunch with everyone else. My blue hair had disappeared when I became a Forbidden. I now had the blond short hair of the girl in my vision. It had taken me a while to realize she was my future self but I was naïve then.

I suspected new or signs of the Forbidden searching for me but none had come. They would never just let me go off, they were waiting for the perfect time. That had to be the reason. I still had my skills and abilities as a Forbidden. My sword was safely hidden in my room. My Forbidden cloak hung in the back of my closet where I could forget about it.

But I couldn't.

They changed my life, in a drastic way. I could no longer be just a girl. I had to be more, a murderer, a killer.

After school was let out, I made my way to Gaara's house. I held his homework in my hands and watched the other kids talk with their friends while heading home. I knocked on Gaara's door and heard footsteps slowly come to answer. Gaara opened the door and my heart throbbed.

"Gaara, why weren't you at school? Are you okay?" My voice was full of worry.

"Can't I get sick? It's nothing so don't cry for God's sake."

I tried to smile but Gaara left the door open after he left to go back to his room. That meant he'd let me enter. I walked in and closed the door behind me. I walked to Gaara's room and saw him sitting on his bed, looking out the window. His face, his eyes, I almost stumbled over my feet but caught myself.

Gaara directed his attention towards me; "You're so clumsy."

I sat next to him and handed him the packets and homework pages the teacher wrote down. He looked it over and began to start the work. I watched him in silence. Gaara never needed help on anything, he would never ask even if he did need help. He was that kind of person. The kind of person I loved.

I stayed over his house for dinner, Kankuro and Temari were glad to see me. Everytime I was in their home. I felt whole, I felt happy. Mahaku came to pick me up and see Temari. It rained a little and it reminded me of the day I came back. It was raining harder when I had come back but tonight was a little shower. I walked on while Mahaku spoke about his birthday. I knew he was pushing me to but him something he really wanted and I would probably buy him it. I couldn't help thinking about Gaara on the way home.

A block away from my house, I sensed something. I turned back to see no one following my brother and I. My hairs prickled up on my neck, it was a member of The Forbidden. It had to be no one else could have such stealth. In a flash, I had a vision of Rosuto in my mind and instantly knew it was him. The war had begun, The Forbidden were looking for their leader and they would not return without me.


	2. I've Found You

thanks to my reviewers! I had alot of support from just my first chapter!

AzArGuRl- im glad you liked it!

Desert Devil-chan- don't worry, i don't want to leave my reviewers hanging.

spellsword666- im glad you like the chapter though. did you try to say emo? cuse i dont know what imo is... heh but everyone had their opinions. )

Galaxya- thank you! i want to see where it goes too...lol

Freedome Fighter- here's your update! hope you like!

Summer chan - yeah it seemed as though it needed a better end.

Paprika012345- yes it was a dream and yes you can PM me about anything, i don't really mind. you can ask questions about anything! i'll answer as quickly as possible )

Hamster-chan and Dogy-chan- thank you very much.

Black Insanity- yeha i think this story is going to be more gore-y

Irwin Cheema -thanks and keep reviewing!

Raincurtain- thank you!

Chapter 2:

"I've Found You"

_A whisper, it tells me to go._

_I do not belong here. _

_Where was I originally from?_

_I can control the darkness, why is that?_

I could sense him, Rosuto. He was dangerous as every other member of The Forbidden. I rushed my brother into our house and I raced up the stairs. I grabbed my sword and opened the window. I was on the second floor and the rain was more of a drizzle. It was night, so the streetlamps were faint and some of them had burned out. The breeze flowed through my hair, or what was left of it.

I diverted my attention towards the ground. There was a tree near my window about 5 feet away. Without thought I jumped and landed on a thick branch. The branched swayed and cracked but didn't snap in half. I climbed down the tree in silent swift movements. When I made my way to the ground I searched around for Rosuto's presence. There it was, 2 blocks away. He was on the roof of an apartment building. I looked up and saw a hooded, cloaked figure staring intently at my home.

'_Good. He hasn't noticed me.'_

I edged myself around the backyards of all the homes behind me. When I stood 20 feet before the building I came out into the open and looked up at Rosuto. He tilted his head and also noticed me; he gave no signs shock. He disappeared for a second but then came out of the front door of the small building. Rosuto walked up to me but stopped about 10 feet away.

"I know it's you Rosuto. You don't have to hide your face in that hood." I said.

Rosuto pulled down his hood. He wasn't smirking as he always did. Maybe he didn't want to fight his leader. Silence passed on, I could see his sword in his hand. It was flaming red like his hair. It looked like a simple sword but at the end it was slim and had two points instead of one.

Finally, Rosuto spoke, "I don't want to fight you Hateshi. Please just come back to us. You belong with us, not with these scums that don't know your true potential."

I laughed at that. My 'true' potential? Calling Gaara and everyone else that was like family to me scums, Rosuto was going to pay for that.

"You're going to pay for calling them all scums!" I smirked at him.

I raced at him with my sword uplifted, I swung it at him but he blocked. The sound of steel on steel echoed through the air. It filled my ears and I retreated. Another swing at his legs, he blocked. I kept swinging and stabbing and he kept dodging or blocking. I knew what he was trying to do but I wasn't going to fall for it. I never tested out to see if I could control the darkness in this dimension, now seemed like a good time to try.

I tried to call forth the darkness by raising my hand and slowly clenching it into a fist. The shadows swirled form their respective places and gathered around my feet. I smirked and Rosuto and he looked alarmed. He clearly didn't know I still had my powers here. He ran towards me, he sword high in the air. Earlier, I was just testing him, now I was going to fight for real.

I blocked his strongest swing with one hand while controlling the darkness with the other. The scratching of steel could be heard while Rosuto tried to overpower my sword and myself. I released my fist and the darkness was now gathering around his feet. It was pulling him down but he jumped out of my mini black hole.

"We'll come back for you Hateshi!" Rosuto warned before running off. I wondered whom they were going to send next. Maybe that bastard Kashaku would arrive and I would get rid of him, once and for all. I sighed as I walked off, dragging my sword behind me. A block away from my house, I sat on the sidewalk curb. I had released the darkness when Rosuto had gone so no shadows were surrounding me.

'_What should I do? Everyone is in danger as long as I stay here. Maybe I should leave this place for everyone's safety.'_

I looked at my hands and saw my sword hand was bleeding. It must have been from the impact of Rosuto's sword. I disregarded it and threw my sword into the alley behind me. I was upset now. I walked up to the alley's walls and banged my fists against the wall. I pounded and pounded, letting my anger out. Why did this happen to me? Why do I have to be the strange one? This can't happen! It's not realistic! I cried and pounded the walls.

I remembered shoving my sword into so many innocents' bodies. I had permanently stained my hands with their blood. Their innocence.

Could I be innocent too? Could I just rewind the clocks and be the girl I was before? Where all I had to worry about is being friends with Gaara? Why did this happen to me? WHY?

I sobbed and choked out my last few words for a very long time.

In the night, in the silence, I said to myself, "I hate everyone and everything. I wish I didn't exist."

"Don't be a crybaby."

I whirled around and through my tears saw the only one I loved. Gaara was standing at the entrance of the alleyway looking worried.

"What happened to you!" he must have saw the blood on the walls and on my hands. I didn't answer, I couldn't. my throat was tangled with my emotions and guilt. It tried to push my feelings farther into myself and I stopped crying. I stopped talking, I stopped everything.

I can't speak. I see myself, standing up and retrieving my sword. Gaara is staring at me with disbelief in his eyes. Maybe he thinks I've gone insane. Maybe I have. I see myself sneaking up the tree once more, and jumping into my window once more. I land on my bed and I fall to the floor. I pick myself up and wash my bloody hands in the sink. 

I stare at myself in the mirror and I see my face finally resembles who I am. I had blood on my face and my eyes had lost their glint, their spark of life. If I lay there, with my eyes open you'd think I was dead.

_I almost had, I almost was._

_If there were a God up there, If God treated us all fairly and we received what we gave, maybe I wouldn't be like this. If there was a God, he hated me. He despised me; he choked and strangled my throat. _

_All I wanted was one thing. I wanted Gaara's happiness._

_I was going to defeat The Forbidden and then I could rest, then I could die, not before. _


	3. Fear

Thanks to my reviewers-

spellsword666- I know, Hopefully this story will go better.

Hamster-chan and Dogy-chan- yes she can.

Paprika012345- lmao, yeah i would think she was insane too.

Galaxya- thank you, i'll try

AzArGuRl- well i hope this suits your wanting-gaara's-point-of-view

Suna-Tsuki-Koinu- lol yes it is sad.

Pyro Hiei's-gothshadowdrago...- i've been updating slow but it'll probably stay this way because i have to stories now.

IknowPPLonCRACK-that's okay, i don't mind. i also hate homework.

YounamemeArika- lmfao! nice little sequence there.

ghostioanddaigona- thank you so much!

Kurenai-sama- thank you very much!

Raincurtain- hope you like this chapter!

Desert Devil-chan- i actually dont know if she is...lol

eternalwings15- thank you so much!

Blondes-4-naruto- here's your update!

Chapter 3:

"Fear"

_Fear,_

_The very thing that consumed me._

_Fear,_

_What I needed to continue on._

_Fear,_

_Was my destruction. _

Gaara's Point Of View 

Kusota had blood on her, what had happened? Why did she hurt herself? What is going on! I was surprised and I don't know what to think of her anymore. She didn't look or act like the Kusota I know, was she an imposter? I can't face her now, I don't think I want to.

**Kusota/Hateshi's point of view**

Again, another morning. I can't feel the warmth or the happiness of the singing birds anymore. I'm too far gone for that, too far-gone for anything. I wish the days could go faster, they seem eternities long. I opened my eyes to face the sun with a sickly face. I had washed the blood off my face and hands but I could still sense it there even though I couldn't see it. I sat up, breathing in the oxygen. I didn't have a taste for anything but I must go on. I had sworn that after The Forbidden are all killed, I will die.

I took a shower in attempts to fully discard myself from the disgusting smell of blood. Even after an hour of cleaning, I could smell it. I didn't bother to go to school so before Mahaku could wake up, I walked out of the house. I walked around aimlessly for as long as I could remember. Without realizing, I came upon a park. It seemed familiar but the memory was hidden far into my heart.

I touched the swings with my hand, trying to remember the park. It made me upset that I couldn't remember so I walked away from the park. I walked up the familiar streets I couldn't remember seeing. No, I remembered but the memories were locked away.

I walked on until I saw the sun was setting, I went home and raced before someone could ask where I was. I grabbed my cloak and my sword; another member might come today. I shouldn't be near the house when I was fighting. By the time, I had arrived at my previous fighting area, it was night. As expected, I saw a cloaked figure walking towards me, his or her's hood was up. I had my hood down; I didn't see a point for it.

An image of my opponent's face didn't flash through my head. I knew it wasn't Rosuto but I wasn't exactly sure who it was. The figure didn't speak but instead just rushed at me with a silver blade. It was a broad sword that could overcome almost any sword if fought head to head. The sword gave away the figure's identity almost immediately, it was Hitori that wielded the Cross Bow sword. Even though the girl had a slender figure, she had incredible strength. I dodged her attempted slash at me and I tried to strike while she was doubling back. I found that wasn't going to work when she swiped at me with speed and her blade touched my cheek softly. Blood dripped down my cheek and I saw she was toying with me. She obviously thought I wasn't fit or dangerous enough to have lead at all.

I ran at her and decided to test her true strength with her heavy sword. Our swords clashed, her sword was over-powering me by the pure weight of it. I held on with both hands and pushed her away. That gave me enough time to call the darkness. The shadows were beginning to come towards me.

"I'm not giving you time to call the darkness!" Hitori called out.

She then came at me with her sword, which called for the use of both of my hands.

'_Damn it! I need one hand to call upon the darkness!'_

I tried to face her without the darkness, I came at her and she kept dodging and dodging. I couldn't even hit her. I realized she was trying to tire me out. I needed the help of the darkness so I ran as far away as I could. Hitori didn't come after me, she didn't figure out my plan. I was calling the darkness with both hands, to quicken its arrival. I closed my eyes, praying for defense. When I opened my eyes, ready to attack with shadows, Hitori's blade turned to a broad side and slammed against the side of my head. I blacked out almost instantly, I felt the floor. I saw Hitori's eyes inside her hood.

Her eyes were full of malice.

**Gaara's Point of View**

Kusota hadn't come to school today. I was walking towards her house to knock some sense into her even though she wasn't the person I once knew. I wanted to find out what was wrong. It had…frightened me. I saw her walking towards a building then stopping as someone who wore the same cloak as her stepped almost out of no where and confronted her. I noticed Kusota and the stranger both had swords in their hands.

"What the hell is going on?" I whispered.

They began to fight, Kusota received a small cut on her cheek but I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Why were they fighting with swords? The stranger called out something and it sounded like a girl. They both almost flashed before me, their speed was so intense. Finally, I saw Kusota run away and stand still. When she opened her eyes, the strange girl had hit her head fiercely. Kusota fell and I almost came out of the alley I was hiding in to rescue her. Then the girl called out to me,

"Do you want to rescue her?"

I was astounded at the fact she noticed me. I came out of the alley, walking into the moonlight. I saw she was taller and older than both Kusota and I. I guessed she was around 17. I didn't answer the girl, who did she think she was?

"Who the hell are you?" I asked.

The last thing I remember is the strange girl chuckling before she slammed the flat side of her sword against my head.

**In Kusota/Hateshi's Point of View**

I gripped my head in pain and flickered my eyes open. My vision came slowly at first but the pain in my head was indescribable. I was in a bed, in a room. I was back in the room I woke up from with Kashaku at my side. Only this time, I was alone in the room.

But I was back in the dimension where my name was Hateshi and I was in The Forbidden's Home.


	4. Guardian Angel

sorry i haven't updated in awhile. well thanks for reading!

ghostioanddaigona-lmao,t hat was funny. well thank you!

Raincurtain- you'll find out now!

Paprika012345- it's taken me a long time to update but i hope you like this chapter!

Desert Devil-chan-lol yeah...i don;t like hitori

spellsword666- yeah...your comment just made me realize that.

AzArGuRl-well you'll see now!

BrokenHeartAlchemist- thank you so much! do you like fullmetal alchemist? your pen name makes me wonder...lol

De Code Master - O.O woah lol. uhh yeah i think that's how it supposed to be..i dont know.

Elvan Princess- what do you mean by romance scene? a lemon? or like...just a fluffy thing?

Chapter 4

"Guardian Angel"

I couldn't believe I was back. I was back in hell; Kashaku was really going to feel my fury now. I immediately stood and headed for the door. I was going to find them and kill them all now. When I walked out of the prison they called my bedroom, I looked around. It was quiet, but that was a normal thing for this house.

I paced myself when I walked downstairs. When I got there, Hitori was sitting at the dining table eating. She looked up and laughed.

"I thought you were going to be knocked out for a little longer, you could have least given me time to eat."

I clenched my fists. With one hand, I called upon the darkness to strangle her. Shadows were surrounding her neck, slowly tightening. She tried to keep calm but I could see the fear in her eyes. She tried to pull the shadows away with her hands but she was no where strong enough to be able to keep them at bay.

She coughed out; "I wouldn't do that if I were you. I brought your little friend along."

Instantly, I let her go.

'_G-Gaara's here?'_

"Where is he!" I demanded.

Hitori gave me a cold look but said, "Kashaku has him. He's somewhere around town, training."

I was tempted to kill her but I had to hurry to find Gaara, they were low, these bastards. They took a hostage to be able to detain me. When I went outside, the city was in a dark state. I noticed some buildings were destroyed and I wondered what had become of them. It was night, a perfect time for The Forbidden.

I ran around the town, looking for Kashaku. Some pedestrians saw my cloak and I was armed with my sword and they cowered in fear. Then, on the roof I saw Kashaku. He had his hood up but I knew it was him. They way he stood, how he faced me. It had to be him. I knew what he wanted to do, I recognized this building. It was the building where I had killed that secretary. The memories made themselves clear to me. I wasn't going to fall for any of Kashaku's mind games, he was famous for that.

Instead of heading to the roof, I went to that room. When I entered the blood and the woman's body was removed. There wasn't a mere stain of blood but I could still see the blood. I remembered exactly how the blood flowed form her wounds to fill the floor.

In a chair behind the secretary's desk, I saw him. His back was facing me but how would I be able to forget that face? The hair, his skin. I almost dropped my sword. I never wanted him to…know the truth. Gaara turned around and his cold piercing eyes met mine.

"Gaara…" I whispered, weakly.

He had a look of disapproving disbelief on his face.

"Kashaku told me everything. How could you have done that Kusota? How many did you really kill?"

I stared at the floor, I felt guilty because I didn't feel remorse for killing.

"They made me! I had to! Kashaku, he's the bad guy here!"

Gaara shook his head, "Shut up, stop blaming others for your faults."

I reached my hand out to him but he turned to face away from me. He spoke again but his voice sounded different, he sounded almost, sad.

"You're not Kusota. You're Hateshi, Kusota would never do anything like that."

I trembled, I looked at my hands and the memory of the blood came again. Then I remembered something, the first day at the swings when Gaara had also been there. He told me something and I told him to shut up. I had never said those two words to Gaara since then.

"Sh-Shut up!" I yelled.

Gaara turned around in the chair and looked at me.

Tears were coming down my eyes in silent streaks, I had dropped my sword and I opened my eyes to look at Gaara.

"I am Kusota! I might have done things that I wouldn't do before, but I am Kusota!"

Gaara didn't say a word, I guess he was surprised.

"I-I did all those things so I could return home and see you! I did them so they wouldn't hurt you! Now you're acting like a bitch to me? I might as well never returned home because I'd have to see your stupid pathetic face! The only reason I'm here is to protect you but I guess you don't need any damn protecting!"

I grabbed my sword and raced out of the room, I went to the roof to see the biggest bastard that was ever born. Kashaku was standing in the middle of the roof, looking at me. The night sky was windy and it blew his hood off. His blonde hair and gray eyes were visible.

"Do you hate him now?"

I wanted to, I wanted to hate Gaara. My anger had not disappeared but I was evening it out. The tears on my face had dried. Kashaku walked towards me, when he was close enough, he wiped away the reminiscence of a tear with his bare hand.

"Hateshi, let go of Gaara. Come with me, I truly love you. I love you Hateshi."

I didn't brush his hand away or speak against that. It wouldn't matter anyway. Gaara despised me so I could care less what they did now. Maybe I got what I've always wanted, someone to love me.

"I'll take care of you Hateshi, that's what I've always, you."

I stumbled a bit but said in a quiet voice, "I'm sorry but I will never be able to love you. I don't care what you do to me because Gaara doesn't care anymore. Do what you want with me but I could never love you, I-I love Gaara."

Kashaku's face turned into a frown and he backed away. He grabbed his sword, which was long and silver. It was thin but extremely sharp. He held one hand up and light form the lamps came and circled around his sword. I dropped mine because I didn't see the point, he was going to kill me and that was that.

Kashaku smiled and nodded at a figure behind me. Gaara walked next to me and lifted my neglected sword. He stood behind Kashaku as to not get in his way. Gaara had a hating glare the whole time he looked at me.

'He really does hate me…' 

Kashaku walked slowly, he was going to stab me with his sword only once. Then I would bleed on the floor to my death. His sword was coming at me with the light circling it. His sword would stab me any second now, I closed my eyes and my muscles tensed. I heard a sword stabbing flesh but I fell to the floor. I felt blood on the ground but I felt no pain. I opened my eyes and saw Kashaku was also on the floor next to me. He had a wound in the middle of his stomach and he was bleeding. I looked at myself and I saw I wasn't wounded. Gaara was standing, my sword in his hand. My sword had blood on it and I realized what had happened.

I stood up and saw Gaara staring at Kashaku with hate.

"Wha…G-Gaara?…What?…"

I was speechless, what **had** happened? I thought Gaara hated me.

Tears again spilled down my cheeks, second time today. I almost fell on Gaara as I hugged him. My hands were around his neck and I cried on his chest. I heard the sharp intake of air that entered Gaara's mouth. I cried loudly, like a baby.

"I thought you hated me…You really do care…Thank you Gaara….thank you…."

I kept on crying and Gaara didn't stayed silent, I guess he didn't have anything to say.

"I-I…lo…."

Before I could say how I really felt about him, he interrupted me.

"Let's go."

I nodded and pulled away from him. We certainly couldn't return to the Forbidden's home. So we found a hotel. This dimension used the same money as ours did. Luckily, Gaara had brought his wallet. I took off my cloak so no one would think I was a Forbidden. I had cleaned myself up in a bathroom that was in the building. I was silent while Gaara talked to the person at the front desk.

"I want a room."

The chubby man smiled when he eyed me and asked,

"One or two beds?"

Gaara paused then said confidently, "Two."

When we entered our room, I was relived. The room was a pale peach color. The beds were the same color. There was a t.v. on a dresser. The dresser was a wooden color. The bathroom was small but sufficient. I laid on the bed with my arms and legs outstretched. We went to sleep with our clothes because there was nothing else we could change into.

When the lights were off, I pulled the covers up to my shoulders. I was facing Gaara's bed. His back was to me but I knew he was awake.

"Gaara?" I whispered.

Gaara grunted to let me know he was awake and listening.

"Why did you save me?"

He shifted uneasily but responded,

"I'm here to protect you. I mean- I can't go back without you, Mahaku would skin me alive."

I smiled because I knew he meant the first thing he said. He wanted to protect me. My heart was fluttering when I heard those 5 words.

No one spoke after that. 10 minutes later, he got up and took some sleeping pills that were located in a cabinet. I waited half an hour before I got up. I walked over to him and made sure he was asleep. His face muscles were relaxed so there was no expression on his face.

He was sound asleep so I bent over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"You're my guardian angel, Gaara."


	5. A Vacation Of A Sort

thanks to my reviewers-

Paprika012345-glad you liked it

ghostioanddaigona- -- er..i don't really write lemon...sorry to disspoint you.

Blondes-4-naruto- thank you so much!

YounamemeArika- lol well thank you! i knwo i haven't updated in a while

spellsword666- no that wasn't the last chapter. i'll answer your questions in the later chapters. so keep reading to find out! i have a bug surprise in store..muahaha.

Desert Devil-chan- lol yeah...i liked the chubby guy

AzArGuRl- I AGREE!

well this chapter isn't as depression and dark and gorey as the others. probably cuse i'm listening to a happy song. "Bullet with a Name on it" By- Nonpoint

Chapter 5

"A Vacation Of A Sort"

I had a nightmare that night. I usually don't have nightmares because I consider my life worse than any dream I could have. But that night, I had one.

**Dream**

Kashaku was smiling at me, he seemed different but the same. His smile was demonic, nothing a human would normally do. He had his wound and he was still bleeding. He came at me but then the world whirled around and I was back at home.

I felt grateful that Kashaku had gone. I walked inside my home and saw my brother's dead body on the floor. Kashaku came down from my room and smiled again. He had my blade in his hand. I screamed and ran over to my brother.

"Choose, Gaara or Mahaku?"

I was yelling in pain, the shadows were devouring me. Then I was in the hotel room, kissing Gaara passionately. Kashaku came through the door and he killed Gaara. I yelled and screamed again.

Then the darkness came and suffocated me.

**End of Dream**

I awoke crying and sweat was falling down my face. I was breathing hard and I sat up and looked around. Gaara was still sleeping and sunlight poured in from the windows. I made sure that no one was in the hotel room besides Gaara and I. My breathing returned to normal and I disregarded my nightmare.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face, I took a quick shower. When I came out of the bathroom, Gaara was sitting on the bed, deep in thought.

My senses were alerting me of danger. I had forgotten about the others. Three more remained, Hitori, Rosuto and Nagori. They were all alive and they surely would take revenge on me for Kashaku's death.

I walked over to Gaara,

"You're awake?"

He kept his eyes closed, he was obviously still thinking.

"Would I be sitting up if I wasn't awake?"

I didn't answer to that because he was right. I felt uneasy about staying in one place for too long. I couldn't go home though because The Forbidden would probably hunt down and kill my family. I had to stay here and finish them off.

'We need weapons…I have mine but Gaara…' 

"Hey Gaara we could go to a sword shop I know and buy you a sword. Guns don't exist in this place."

He nodded and he took a shower before we left. I walked down the streets in my normal clothes. Where ever here was, was obviously different than my home. They had no guns here and the cars were scarce and were old fashioned. I found a shop in an alleyway some time later. I opened the door and a small counter was about 7 feet away. A man in about his forties was busy sharpening a sword. It was a black blade, made with a type of stone I didn't know of. It looked impressive, the blade was thin near the handle but then thickened reaching out towards the edge. The handle was like any old handle but it had a sharp spine at the end. It could be used as a sword or as a quick knife-like weapon.

'_Gaara needs that.'_

The man didn't seem to hear our entrance. I walked over to the counter.

"Excuse me? I would like to buy the sword you have in our hands sir."

The man looked at me with a scowling expression. He wasn't that young but he had a sturdy built and his facial expressions reminded me of Gaara's. He wore a hat and I could see the sweat on his face.

"What would a girl like you need a sword for?"

I thought that was a little rude.

'_Watch it old guy, You're talking to an ex member of the Forbidden.'_

"It's not for me. It's for my friend here."

I motioned for Gaara to come closer and he did. He gave the old man a rough look and the man stared at Gaara. It seemed like a staring competition but then the old man broke the silence,

"It's for him? Well, I guess I could sell it to you then. It's $4,000"

I tried to clean out my ear to make sure I wasn't deaf.

"Um..did you say $4,000?"

"Yes"

'We can't buy a sword for $4,000! Is that guy nuts! O.O' 

"Well, could we do something to lower the value?"

"How much to do you have?"

At this time, Gaara took part of the conversation.

"We have 447."

The man looked at the sword and then at us.

"You pip-squeaks would never use a sword like this. What are you collectors?"

That was it. I lifted my hand and called upon the darkness. The shadows came and they made their way towards the man. He was obviously afraid now. I made them stop at his legs then I said,

"I'm the leader of The Forbidden. Don't you dare treat me like a child!"

The man's eyes lit up and he started blabbering about being sorry. He gave us the sword for free and he even gave us a free sheath for the blade. I was happy the old man finally gave in, I didn't want to kill him. Then something occurred to me, Gaara didn't know how to use swords.

"Gaara, I have to train you."

He gave me a look, "What **you** know how to fight?"

I rolled my eyes and explained the requirements for being a Forbidden. Gaara tried not to be impressed so he uttered a 'whatever' and I found a flyer on a building. It read, 'Want to learn to fight like a pro? Take lessons at Kusabana Park! Only 5 dollars a month!'

I looked at Gaara and he looked back at me, he gave an angry face and said,

"Hell no."

**An Hour Later**

Gaara was at the park and I saw him train and learn how to fight with about 5 other guys our age. Well they were about 2 years older than Gaara. Gaara kept throwing me angry glances for the whole 2 hours. They spared at the end of the 2 hours, Gaara came out 2nd.

'He's a natural…' 

After the training, we walked over to a store that sold food. We hadn't eaten anything, we had to save our money. After eating a sandwich each, we walked around town to find me a job.

"You don't have to work, I'll work Kusota."

"Don't be an ass Gaara, You train and I work, then you can work after your training."

I found myself a job from 9 in the morning until 5 in the afternoon. That was the most hours the manager allowed me to work. It was a block away form Kusabana park so I though it was good. Also it was a bookstore so it would be quiet. Gaara found a job from 9 to 3 at a weapons shop. I thought it was great. With that, we would be able to afford different hotels; we couldn't stay in one place. That would be dangerous. That's how a week went by. We worked and in the night I would train Gaara in the moonlight at the Kusabana Park.

At the end of that first week, I went to a clothing store before going to Gaara's training. I bought us some clothing, 4 black shirts for Gaara and I. Later at our hotel room, at around 10 at night, he got up and before he walked out of the room he said,

"I'll meet you at the park at 1."

Then he left. I wondered what was wrong but he would be fine. At one, I walked over to the park. I was a block away when I saw Gaara. I was going to call over to him but then I saw another figure walking towards him form the opposite direction I was walking. His back was to me so he wasn't able to see me. His sword was in his hand and I tried to see the figure but it was blurry. The dark shape kept a steady pace heading towards Gaara.

I swallowed hard and my hairs stood up.

It was Rosuto. His hood was down and his burning red hair was clearly visible after a while.

There was no way that Gaara was ready to fight Rosuto.

I had to get there in time, before Gaara dies.


	6. Death in Darkness

Thanks to my reviewers-

Suna-Tsuki-Koinu- well there are no ninja thingy in thsi fic and no shukaku so no sand...

spellsword666- well it was happy compared to my other chapters.

Blondes-4-naruto- lol thanks! I just couldn't resist to put that cliffhanger though..

Paprika012345- i didn't update soon cuse of my project but i have a long chapter!

becomingthis- i agree he can't die.

YounamemeArika- lol yeah..sorry it took a while to update though.

AzArGuRl- well you know as well as i do my chapters aren't that happy...ehh it didn't come out that way but i hope you liked how it came out!

BrokenHeartAlchemist-WHOOT GO FMA FANS! That's my absolute favorite anime. i haven't watched the movie yet...i don't knwo why..i guess i want to wait for the english version but i probably won't last that long. god the last episode was so sad. if someone didn't cry..they must be tough cuse i broke down and cried so much...lol

Raincurtain- well i hope you like this chapter!

eternalwings15- no problems, school had been keeping me from updating..stupid school.

Black Roses666-OMG YOU'RE THE AUTHOR OF DANCE WITH A SANDMAN! -bows down- lol i like your story butr i haven;t read it since chapter 14...school never gives me the time. i barely read any fanfics anymore...stupid school. well to answer your question...i don't know...i just sit at my computor and play some music then write the first thing that pops into mind.

AUTHOR'S NOTE- okay,I know I haven't updated in a long time butI wrote an extra long chapter this time to make it up to my reviewers.

Chapter 6

"Death in Darkness"

'_Shit, Rosuto, that bastard.'_

Gaara had seen him and obviously he thought he could take him on. I knew better than that, Gaara had only started to learn how to fight with a sword. Rosuto has been a master for 5 years. I didn't have my sword and I cursed under my breath. I had my darkness but would that be enough? Only if I could…make a sword out of the darkness. Yes, that's what I had to do.

I was going to begin making my sword when Rosuto charged at Gaara. I held my breath and I couldn't shout, my throat was tightly gripped. I blinked but when my eyelids opened, Gaara was still standing. He blocked Rosuto's attack and their swords had clashed head on.

I could see how much Gaara had learned in a short amount of time but he still wasn't strong enough to hold for much longer. I began to call upon the darkness to shape itself and become solid. Shadows came from their natural place in nature and were weaving itself around my sword hand.

When I was done, a brilliant and gallant sword and in my hand. it looked like my old one but it was completely black and it looked a but like Gaara's. The handle was also different. It looked like a wave of darkness and it partially covered my hand, like a shield against any attempts to slice off my hand. The sword also had a dark aura around it. It was like a shadow but more mist-like.

Without thinking, I ran towards Rosuto, he backed away and dodged my attack that was sure to put a hole in his chest. I could hear the muscles in Gaara's body soften, he knew I could defeat him.

"I see you need to jump in and help your boyfriends in his fights." Rosuto sneered.

I never thought Rosuto disliked me, I thought he was following Kashaku's orders. I guess they all hated me, not much of a loss anyway.

"Don't talk to me that way you insignificant bitch." Gaara replied.

I saw a slight twitch in Rosuto's eye. If Gaara won't stop, he'll kill him instead of me. I motioned for Gaara to pull back and he hesitantly did. I believed in honor and so did the Forbidden. An uneven fight showed fear and weakness, something none of us would ever show.

I came at Rosuto again and he counter-attacked, I jumped back and slid a bit. Taking advantage, Rosuto slashed at my head but I ducked, I felt a trickle of blood on the side of my forehead. Rosuto smirked at me but I regained my posture and swung at his feet. He jumped but I doubled back and tried to hit his leg. I managed a cut but Rosuto didn't seem bothered by it. I held up a hand and shadows came towards Rosuto's feet. He jumped out of the whirlpool of shadows.

"Do you think I'd actually fall for that?"

I smiled at him. He hadn't noticed the whirlpool was following him from under. Where he landed, it would suck him in. Before he landed though, he fell sword first and managed to push down on the ground so he could land just outside of it. That whirlpool really caused my energy to deplete so I released the shadows. Then the fight consisted of attempted blows and dodges. Rosuto would swing at me and I would duck of jump, then I would attempt to land a fatal hit but he would move out of the way.

I let my guard down once and Rosuto knocked my sword out of my hand. It clattered and slid 2 feet next to Rosuto. He smiled.

"I like your new sword, who made it?"

I didn't answer. I saw him kneel and pick up my sword in his other hand. This was not a very good thing, Rosuto could handle a sword with both hands. Now he could really land a hit on me. Before he could though, the dark mist that encircled the sword made its way up Rosuto's arm. He dropped his sword and tried to throw mine away, but he couldn't. He started to fidget and scream.

"AHH! Take it off! Take it off! What is this? What the hell did you do Hateshi!"

I gasped as I saw what was happening, the shadow was eating his flesh. It was like acid, the strongest acid. It moved like it had a mind of its own, making it's way over his body. Rosuto was cursing and screaming in pain. All I could do was watch from 10 feet away, watch him die. When it covered his body, he fell to the floor. I ran over but the mist made its way back to encircling the sword.

When it did, Rosuto's body wasn't there anymore. I didn't pick up the sword, I looked at where Rosuto was, where his body was and then at the sword. It seemed to almost laugh at Rosuto's death. It almost begged for more bodies, more blood. I heard Gaara come from behind me and walk slowly to where the sword was.

"What…is that Kusota?"

He sounded worried, like I had commanded that sword to eat up Rosuto in such a disrespectful, crude manner. I went to pick it up; I gripped the handle and felt the cold, solid shadow. The shadow seemed to almost dance on the sword, it seemed happy to have eaten someone.

"I-I…don't…know. I made this word out of darkness but…I didn't know it could do that…"

My throat was tight. It was is if ice was freezing my vocal cords. I felt cold but I didn't shiver. I could feel Rosuto's death inside the sword. I tried to dismantle it, send back the shadows but they didn't. The shadows wanted more blood, more flesh to thrive on.

'I can't- it won't…I can't make the shadows go back."

Gaara looked at me, in a disbelieving way.

"What do you mean?"

I shuddered, my hairs pricked up.

"I can't control this, the shadows in it have a mind of their own."

I could sense them, the shadows coming at me. My heart began to race and the edges of my vision began to blur and gain darkness. The darkness was infecting and filling in where the oxygen was. I felt myself close my eyes and fall to the ground, coughing. I couldn't breathe, only darkness filled my lungs. I was coughing more violently and I heard a distant voice. The voice was asking if I was all right, it was Gaara. I opened my eyes but I couldn't see him, I couldn't see anything. All I saw was darkness.

"Gaara!" I screamed.

He answered his voice far off.

"I'm here, what's wrong?"

I coughed again, wheezing. "I can't…see…you…"

I couldn't speak; I had no energy or oxygen to. My muscles were twitching with pain, they needed oxygen. I laid on the darkness and felt my chest constrict. I rolled into a ball of pain. I kept coughing while I felt a hand on my back. Someone was yelling at me but I couldn't understand what he or she was saying. I couldn't answer either, I couldn't think. Son my consciousness was being pulled away form me. The pain stayed, it was as if I was going into a sleep but I still couldn't breathe. I closed my eyes and my mind was drifting away, like a boat on the sea. My memories and speech were almost torn form me, left with painful pieces.

The painful pieces that were left were of my past home. I was yelling at my brother, I was crying. Rain was hitting my face; I could feel the cold, wet, transparent substance. It dripped from my blonde hair and fell on my arms and on the floor. I was back to that day. I hadn't known Gaara yet and it was raining. I had my blue hair back then too. I felt my clothes stick to me, they were damp and cold. I was sitting at the corner of my block, as I always did. I remembered tomorrow was Valentine's day. I could feel the hollowness of my insides. I had nothing inside.

I walked home because it was 6 o'clock and my mother expected me home for dinner. My mother asked me if I heard about the new boy in town. I cringed then I thought to myself,

'_Does she mean Gaara?'_

I felt myself drift away as that Kusota was trying to avoid her mother's gaze as she asked if Kusota should become friends with the new boy. Then I saw a hospital room. There were babies in little cribs. I walked up to the glass and read their names. 'Hateshi Tasukete' was the name of one of the little girls. Next to her the nametag was blue to indicate a boy and the boy's name was 'Kashaku Takai'.

I saw four parents walking down the hallway, they couldn't see me. They spoke of their children, how they were going to be friends, how they were going to grow up together. They pointed at my crib and Kashaku's. The woman who was pointing at mine was a blonde. She was thin and her skin was a soft cream color. Almost like mine. The man who held her was a bit tanner, he had dark brown hair and his eyes shined with black eyes. I didn't look at Kashaku's parents. They were giggling and smiling at their babies. I had never seen these people before, but it seemed as if I have seen them before.

The darkness was pulling me away again, I didn't resist. I felt myself falling into a dark abyss. Then I felt the world spin wildly. I opened my eyes, I was staring at a ceiling. It was dark but I could see the outlines of objects. I sat up slowly, it was night out. My lungs were in pain but I could breath. I saw no one else in the room, the other bed was empty. Where was I? I was laying on a bed with the covers over me. I tried to stand up but fell to the floor with a loud thump. The floor was covered in rugs so I didn't hurt myself. I tried to stand again, using the wall. I leaned on the wall but my legs were shaky, as if I was learning how to walk.

My legs became less shaky as I kept walking, I looked around the room. On a table were three sheaths. So three swords were in them. I wondered how dangerous whoever brought me here was. If they have three swords, I'd better be careful. Then the door opened, the hallway had light and I covered my eyes with an arm.

"What are you doing up?" The stranger in the doorway asked. I didn't reply, only some small sounds of harsh wheezing were audible. The stranger closed the door so I couldn't see his or her face clearly. I saw it was a boy, older than I was. His hair was a light color but I couldn't tell what color it exactly was. He led me to my bed and laid me down. I shook my head and he asked,

"You need to rest, do you want water?"

I wanted to ask where I was, who he was. What happened? He brought me a glass form a table near the far side of the room. He laid it on a bedside table next to my bed. It was true I was tired. My muscles ached and my head hurt. I laid in my bed and whether I wanted to or not, my eyes closed and I drifted off. When I awoke, it was day. The sunlight poured in form the windows on the opposite side of the room. The room was fairly large and it was a peach color. The bed was also a bit large, the covers were a light purple. I looked around and noticed my body didn't feel as much pain. I remembered when I had awakened for a little while last night. A strange boy had given me a glass of water but he hadn't told me who he was or where I was. I couldn't ask anyway.

Maybe I still couldn't speak. I tried to utter a word. It came out in a whisper like tone but it was something. My throat was healing. I tried to walk again, this time it wasn't as difficult. I walked around the room and then headed for the door. I turned the knob and opened it. The door opened into a hallway. It seemed like I wasn't on the first floor. There was one other room on the same floor. I walked towards the stairs and slowly walked down. I held on to the handle, I could still tell I was weak. When I made my way down, I saw it was a humble home. There was a family room and a little corridor that led to two other rooms. On the opposite side, was a kitchen and dining area. The floors were wooden but the kitchen and dining area were tiled. The tiles were white with little green borders.

I saw a boy, the boy from last night. His back was to me. He was whitish blue hair. He was tall and slender, I guessed about 5'7". He wore jeans and a dark purple shirt. I walked over to him to see what he was doing. I saw he was trying to cook something. I was about 7 feet away from him when the boy turned around.

"Oh I see you're up. I guess you're also hungry since you haven't eaten in a day. Heh."

The boy was smiling but I couldn't possibly smile back. I know this boy, he had hazel eyes but he didn't seem like the person I knew but there was no mistake. This boy was Nagori, a member of the Forbidden.


	7. A Traitor to the Forbidden

Thanks to my reviewers-

AzArGuRl- well….Rosuto 'died'. And erm..the darkness kinda swallowed Hateshi/Kusota's mentality. Well then…er…it's hard to explain. What's WITW?

Desert Devil-chan- lol, yes he would recognize her.

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel- jesse…-twitch- my poor edward! Being voice acted by a fag! Nooooo!

Black Roses666- it's a good thing. I'm finally up to date with your story, I couldn't review the last chapter because my computor wont let me log on to the site. I had a friend post this up.

Paprika012345- fluff will come, be patient.

Raincurtain- er…this may be a bit spoilerific…but he's not quiet dead. Well unless I change the plot.

JessYukiOnna- I love riku! Lol but roxas is my favorite, riku's second. Thank you for reviewing!

YounamemeArika- ahhhh thank you so much!

ghostioanddaigona- the compliments are falling on my head! (meaning there are so many compliments)

terisu-seifa-yeah the part where she like…yeah I understand what you mean. I just wrote it..i kinda don't understand it myself…it's supposed to be like her subconsciousness took over, it was triggered by the darkness.

eternalwings15- I hope you like this chapter!

Author's note- this chapter is a bit short but please bare with me. AlsoI couldn't update before now because fanfiction wouldn't let me log on.

Chapter 7

"A Traitor to the Forbidden"

"Nago...ri?" I asked.

This couldn't be him. He was acting like a normal teenager. Not like a murderer responsible for the nightmares people have at nights. He didn't look like he's helped in murder, like he hasn't seen the blood. Ho could he act so…normal? Doesn't he also hate me? I betrayed The Forbidden, I ran away. I killed Kashaku and Rosuto. Did he not know? It was his duty to capture me; didn't he despise my leadership?

But the boy smiled at me. He turned his back towards me and kept making breakfast. I could see he was having some difficulty but he was probably luring me into some kind of fake security. The Forbidden liked to play mind games. I stared at him, waiting for him to attack. I lifted my arm and gathered the little shadows that were present to the inside of my palm.

Nagori turned back towards me, ignoring my self-defense attack.

"Hey Hateshi, could you help me? I'm a horrible cook."

I looked at the boy in confusion. Nagori…cooking? I had to be in some sort of sick twisted nightmare. Why would Nagori spend his time trying to cook? Why would he house me? This had to be some trick, some mind game…no Kashaku couldn't have done anything. He was dead. It was a strange feeling, I could feel his presence but I had seen his death with my own eyes. But he was still there, I could sense him. Fear crept up my spine and my hairs stood up.

I slowly walked closer to Nagori. I had never really gotten to know him but I assumed he was cold, death-driven and had a desperate need to kill me. That taught me never to assume. I had walked over to his side and I saw he was trying to make pancakes.

'_Nagori…and pancakes. This is definitely a nightmare.'_

I felt no danger so I helped the boy in his meager task. He seemed innocent enough, for the time being.

"Where's Gaara?" I asked, after a while.

Nagori already had the pancakes sizzling in the pan. I smelled the fresh aroma and my stomach churned in pain. I hadn't eating, I couldn't take my eyes off of that damn pan. I tore my eyes away, more pain erupted and growled in my stomach. I looked at Nagori, waiting for his answer. If he made one wrong move, he would die.

"Gaara was in the room across the hall from yours." He answered, noticing the fierceness in my eyes.

He must have noticed, he knew he had to give the right answer. If not, he wouldn't be standing now. Then my mind wandered off, trying to piece together what had happened. Rosuto and the sword, then I couldn't breathe. Afterwards, I woke up in this house and I drifted off again. That was vague.

My memories weren't enough to piece together. I would have to ask Gaara what happened. Was Gaara awake? Or did something happen to him? Was he all right? I didn't want to but I had to ask Nagori maybe he wasn't all that bad.

"Nagori what happened to Gaara? Is he okay?"

I turned away from his stare after he turned off the heat on the stove. My blonde bangs hid my eyes from his view. They were shielding, my eyes from showing the emotions I hid deep inside of me. For a long time, I remember always feeling nothing. I had wished to feel something, feel happiness. Now I had to hide my feelings, never showing my weakness. Especially not in front of my enemies.

Nagori turned to face his finished meal, he placed some pancakes on a plate and held it out to me, he smiled then said in a clam voice,

"He's fine."

I took the plate from him, my stomach slashed at my insides from the smell. I didn't show my hunger and Nagori directed me to sit at the dining table. When I finished I said something I'd never thought I'd say to a Forbidden.

"Th-Thank you." I murmured.

I stood up and washed my plate and then Nagori led me up the stairs and to the room where Gaara was. He opened the door very slightly, slowly. I was anticipating it, my head inched further to be able to see past Nagori and into the room. I saw it was just like mine, almost down to the same amount of stitches on the comforter that was on Gaara. Nagori stood out of the way and I entered the room. Gaara had his eyes closed and I sighed. I was afraid he was injured but he was fine.

I made my way over to his side and kneeled on the floor, resting my arms on the side of the bed. Gaara's chest was expanding and retracting, according with his breath. I sat there, watching him. I was waiting for him to awaken. I wanted to see his expressions.

"I found him, carrying you around town. He looked exhausted. He passed out but before he did, he told me to take care of you. Heh, I couldn't turn you in to the others after I saw he passed out from trying to protect you."

I kept my eyes on Gaara. He did care, he didn't show it but it was there. He felt sad like all other humans, he probably cried like all other humans. That stubborn boy thought he could take on Rosuto, why is he like that? He could have gotten killed.

"Gaara…why are you so stubborn! You could have really gotten hurt…"

I know he was unconscious and Nagori was the only one hearing me. My voice was soft and full of guilt. It was my fault that all of this was happening, because of me, Gaara could get killed. I didn't even fully grasp the predicament here. Gaara and I were against the Forbidden. Gaara had killed the brains behind the organization. They wanted revenge all right, I knew it wasn't going to be easy but there was only Nagori and Hitori. Nagori seemed like I wasn't on his death list. Hitori on the other hand, would be furious with me. She was probably scheming now as I think about this.

"I'm sorry Gaara, I didn't mean to drag you into this."

I was speaking to myself again. Nagori's presence disappeared, he had left. I looked at the floor in guilt. Now that I had free time, my mind forced me to think into my emotions. I sighed, second time today.

"Don't be a crybaby Kusota."

I looked up and noticed Gaara's eyelids were open. He was still breathing softly and he wasn't angry. I smiled, the first time in a long while. I couldn't remember the last time I smiled. It seemed like a century ago that I was that little girl. Have I matured? Maybe, before I was a little whiny girl now, I wanted to save the world. What a change.

"I'm not a crybaby."

Gaara scoffed at my reply, he sat up and looked around.

"Where the hell am I?"

I told him about Nagori and who he was. I made it an essence to mention about Nagori's kindness and that he meant no harm. Gaara seemed to calm down a bit after that. I guided him down the stairs and into the kitchen. There was more breakfast on the table for Gaara.

Nagori was sitting on a chair across form where Gaara's food was. I sat next to the red haired boy as he sat with caution. He obviously didn't trust Nagori. I sighed and asked Nagori why he was helping us.

"I do not see the need to kill you." He responded.

Gaara looked up form his finished plate, "Are you in love with Kusota?"

Nagori shook his head, his face showed confusion. He obviously didn't know Gaara.

"Then don't do us any favors."

_'Cold as usual…'_

I rolled my eyes but inside, I was smiling. Maybe this wasn't going to be as hard as I thought. Already, I had found one more friend. This was as many as I have ever had.

**Flashback**

I was running around with a boy.

We were at a park, the sand came up after my feet. I fell but the boy came and picked me up with a smile.

I could feel my age, I was an energetic 9 year old.

"Kashakuuuu!" I whined.

The boy smiled at me and hugged me.

"I'll always be here for you, don't worry."

**End of Flashback**

What was that memory? I was…friends with Kashaku? A cold chill embraced me, my ears tuned to a voice Gaara and Nagori couldn't hear.

_Hateshi…you were my best friend. I am coming for you Hateshi. I did not want you to die please, forgive me._


	8. Remember?

The universe follows a greater law that is beyond our imagination. To understand, disassemble, and reconstruct un this law, that is Alchemy.

Black Roses666- lol yeah i thought it was my computor being gay.

ghostioanddaigona-ahhh the compliments XD

Suna-Tsuki-Koinu- i also thought it was funny

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel- i had a writer's block so im sorry for taking a long time

Sora Hanasawa- thank you very much!

FrAnKiEHaRrY-aww thanks

Paprika012345- i wish i could put fluff in this story but its really hard with Gaara...i might write one but it would be really OOC

Raincurtain- lol nah, i thought the same

Desert Devil-chan-glad you liked that one!

Blondes-4-naruto- thanks for the compliment!

JessYukiOnna- riku...-drool- roxas...-drool-

AzArGuRl- ahh yes...im sorry about that. i also confuse myself

YounamemeArika- here's your update.

CryOfTheGhost-lmao, that's alright.

Random Person- thats alot of reading, im glad you like my story

Elvan Princess- i hope i'll get to write some but Gaara is hard to put fluffyness with without making it OOC, i'll try though.

Chapter 8

"Remember?"

It was night already, I walked outside of Nagori's home. The air was cold and it flowed through my hair. The streets were empty but some streetlamps were lit. I looked up to see the moon staring down at me. The wind was cold, colder than it should be but that didn't bother me. What bothered me was the voice I heard; I had heard Kashaku's voice. There was no mistake about it; he had spoken to me.

He didn't sound like the Kashaku I had encountered myself with though. The one I knew was ruthless, angry, and vain. The one who spoke to me…his voice was more relaxed. Kashaku had sounded kind. The Kashaku I knew was not kind. Then was that flashback. Was I friends with Kashaku? I couldn't have been, I didn't live in this…world. Then why did I see myself in a baby crib with Kashaku next to me? The man and woman who were staring at me weren't my parents.

In the distance, I heard a dog barking. How much would I give up to have my former life? I wanted my identity, my former self-back. I wish...I just wished I could have it all back. My life, my home, my family...they were snatched away from me. I wanted to stop pretending this…situation was fine. I hated this; I didn't want to linger here. I've been having nightmares, terrible ones about my childhood.

I walked over to a bench a few feet away from Nagori's home. The street lamp that hung over the bench wasn't on but I could still see in the darkness. I turned to look towards the street, the trees. The silence was peaceful. What would I have done if Gaara didn't come? He had saved me…countless times. He was the truest friend I could have.

'_I want to repay him.'_

How would I pull that off? Gaara wasn't the type of person who enjoys everything. I sighed and closed my eyes. I tilted my head up and let my mind wander.

"What are you doing out here?" The voice scowled.

I opened my eyes and saw Gaara standing up, looking at me.

"I wanted to get out, that's all."

Gaara shook his head, "It's dangerous out here."

I motioned for him to sit next to me, he scowled but sat anyway. Neither of us said anything. Gaara sat on the bench with his arms crossed, he was staring at the floor. I was sitting with my hands on my knees, I looked over at Gaara.

"What are you staring at?"

I smiled then uttered, "Thank you."

Gaara turned to me and asked rudely "What the hell are you thanking me for?"

I sighed then looked at him, "For everything."

Gaara didn't respond to this he just continued to stare at the floor. Should I tell him? I need to let out all of this inside of me. All the flashbacks, voices, the pain, they were scratching my insides. I was almost bleeding, so I decided to tell him.

"I don't think I really am Kusota…I've been having flashbacks of my childhood and I wasn't Kusota."

I stood up and walked towards the grass a little further away. I continued to speak, I could feel Gaara walk after me.

"What if my life was a lie? Mahaku might not be my brother-all this a lie."

I kept rambling, I fell to my knees on the grass but I kept talking. I started to cry when talking about how I wasn't Kusota anymore, the ones I've killed. I could now feel guilt and remorse for their deaths. Tears made their way down my cheeks. I felt someone kneel down next to me. I looked up and saw Gaara. He wasn't angry with me and he wasn't smiling but I could feel something.

"Don't cry, it shows weakness."

I knew he meant it in a nice way. I couldn't smile though, I could have been lying to him this whole time, and I wasn't Kusota. It pained me to say it but it was the truth, I could feel it. I had been lying to myself as well. I hadn't believed what Kashaku had told me. He told me I wasn't Kusota, I didn't want to believe it but now I knew the truth.

"Gaara…don't call me Kusota anymore. I'm Hateshi."

He looked at me in a weird way.

"Don't be an idiot, Kusota's your name."

I sighed and looked at the grass, "No…it's not."

He scowled. "Are you going to believe that bastard, Kashaku?"

I nodded my head, "He's right."

Gaara obviously didn't want to be bothered by this any longer.

"Whatever."

He stood up and walked away. Maybe he didn't want to be friends with my anymore. I wasn't the person he once knew. I was another girl but I still…no he wouldn't care anyway. Life was hell, that much I knew. Why the bloody hell did I have to go through this? If there was a god, I was sure he hated me. I wanted to be sad, I felt like crying but I couldn't I was too angry. I was pissed off at Gaara for being an ass; I hated Kusota…even though she was an enigma to me. Kashaku, for telling me my true identity. I stood up and walked after Gaara.

"Listen to me now." I demanded.

Gaara turned and I saw he had an angry glare.

"Don't talk to me like that."

I ignored his demand for respect, "I'm not Kusota! Please, could you believe me? I'm Hateshi and my best friend was Kashaku."

Gaara looked at me with an angry, puzzled face, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Listen Gaara…I think I was born in this…world. Then somehow I got transported in the place where my name was Kusota…no…I'm sorry that's not right. I don't know why I said that."

I felt utterly idiotic. I had made a fool of myself what **was** I rambling about? Rain started to pour down on us. This was stupid, everything was stupid. I didn't know what to think anymore, nothing I would say or do could change the truth that haunted me-_my life was a fake, and I was living a lie._

I didn't want to face that, the uncertainty of life scared me. The twists and turns it took, my life was nothing short of a roller coaster. What if I myself, was a lie? What would I do then? Could I confront my family if I ever saw them again? Knowing I wasn't Kusota made loving my family that much harder. Mahaku…mom…what would they think of me?

"Gaara…do you think they would hate me? If they know I'm not Kusota.?"

Hateshi…be proud of who you are, you may not be Kusota, but the experiences that you have shared with your brother and mother are real.

I looked around, Gaara was ignoring me as he kept on walking.

'_Kashaku? Are you there?'_

_Yes, I am. I cannot present myself in a physical form…the light has taken me. I can only be a lingering existence in the light. Please, do not fear me. I do not wish to kill you. I'm here to help._

'_Wh-what? I don't understand…you want to help in what?'_

_Hateshi…she will go to any extent to kill you._

'_Why? I mean I know because of your orders but...'_

_She loved me, she thinks you killed me._

I was utterly confused. Kashaku didn't…hate me? This was too much, my head began throbbing and I walked back to Nagori's home without Gaara. Gaara obviously didn't want to speak with me.

Hateshi and Rosuto will seek you. They both want revenge but I can help you, I promised to always be there for you. Remember?

'_Yes…I do remember.'_


	9. My Dream

Fix- Umm… in the last chapter, when Kashaku was speaking to Hateshi/Kusota… I meant to write Hitori NOT Hateshi.

Thanks to my reviewers-

AzArGuRl-lol don't die on me now!

Paprika012345- well, I won't spoil anything.

Desert Devil-chan- yeah...I'll soon write a chapter that explains everything. chapter 10 will probably be it.

CryOfTheGhost-hope you like this chapter!

Black Roses666**- **i agree, it is sweet...i guess.

FrAnKiEHaRrY- ah! i hate crossovers...i personally think they're really bad...i know this is random but my muscle is twitching...and it's annoying me.

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel- well i love star wars...i just hadn't thought about the dark side and light side lmao. well yeah that was a typo, i meant to write Hitori.

YounamemeArika- lol well no, i do not have a notebook. i just sit at the computor and my fingers move on their own. i usually do not have ideas for the later parts of the story either. i just listen to music and my fingers move, werid huh?

JessYukiOnna- i hope you like this chapter! yeah i agree...riku is really good-looking.

ghostioanddaigona- don't worry. next chapter i'm hopefully going to explain things.

Chapter 9

"My Dream"

The glint in your eyes,

Gone.

The pain in your legs as you walk on,

Endlessly.

The torture of endearing

The love that has left

Nothing more but the hush of the clouds,

Silencing your tears.

_Do I really remember?_

_All of this, this lie. Could this really be my true purpose?_

_Am I to stand here, awaiting my death?_

_My destruction?_

_No, I shall stand again._

_I will come forth unto my life,_

_I shall find what it is they call destiny._

I awoke from a dream that was worse than a nightmare. It gave me sickly feeling, to remember what I had dreamt of. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled up, like a frightened cat. The world spun, my head throbbed. That nightmare, I would never want to have something like that ever flow into my mind at night. It was ghastly, horrifying. The uncertainty scared me, aren't dreams supposed to have meanings? I've heard of that. People think dreams carry messages from the subconscious, do we really have one anyway?

Should I really walk on? It is dangerous, what I'm trying to do. To rid the world of Forbidden. Why you ask? Forbidden, they are tortured souls. Lives who have no meaning, no love, no care. They are usually gifted in fighting because the wonders of finally finding a purpose. They work at their fighting, endlessly training. They put their hearts into it. Literally.

If you could open one up, a Forbidden, they're hearts are probably bleeding, with cuts and bruises. I pity them and I pity myself. I was so weak, too weak, to understand. I killed for my sake; I stabbed innocents for my sake. Just because I thought it would rid me of pain, because I thought I could have a purpose. I thought I could return to being the old me, to living a lie. Yes, my life was a lie. The nightmare I just had further proved my theory.

In my nightmare, I was alone. The air was crisp at night; I was walking down the lonely streets. The rain started to tumble down in heavy, think sheets. It drenched me; I could almost feel the coldness of the water, almost. I kept walking but I felt someone behind me. I looked back, again and again but no one was there. I started to run away, my feet slowly came down and splashed water. My breathing was heavy, I was afraid. Who was after me? I then fell, I crashed down into the hard ground in an almost slow motion. I tried to brake my fall with an arm but my elbow bent and I fell against my arm.

I didn't feel any pain but I could feel someone getting nearer to me. Their breath was almost towering over me. I got up and ran but I fell again. I looked back to at least see who was behind me. I saw the mist-like shadow that had engulfed Rosuto. It was in the shape of a human and it was coming closer. It was within 2 feet of me. It towered its head over and looked at me, lightning flashed. I gasped in fear when I saw the face, it was Kashaku. He looked sad but angry. Another flash, Rosuto looked at me, the same face when he had died. The look on his face was fear; his eyes were wide as if the mist was going to kill him again.

Another flash, Mahaku's face. He looked restless and lonely. I tried to call out to him but he closed his eyes and a single tear slid down his cheek. Then Gaara's face appeared, he had an emotionless face, like he was watching a death he could do nothing about. I was yelling at him, asking him something I couldn't remember. Then…my father's face. I cowered in fear and sunk as low to the ground as I could be. He had the same expression on his face as when he tried to kill me. I tried to crawl away but mist-like hands came down on me, my father's face was only inches apart form mine. I screamed but didn't close my eyes. Old habits are hard to break. I heard the loudest thunder crack. My heart almost exploded from fright. I could feel the rain again, I was laying on the ground blinking away the water. The faces were gone, I was thankful at first but now I was alone again.

I was alone like I always was. Anger entered my body, but so did sadness. I cried out for a companion, I wanted someone to save me from this hell. I cried loudly, and sat up. I started to run again, faster than anything does. I wanted to find someone, anyone. Even if it was my father, he would kill me and I wouldn't be alone anymore. There was no one around, not even houses. All I saw were the streetlamps, the sidewalk and the darkness. The path would never end. My suffrage would continue on, forever.

I begged for forgiveness, I wanted to be saved. I stopped running and sank to my knees. I hugged them and dug my head in, creating almost a ball. The rain kept coming down on me, it mixed with my tears. I didn't want to be lonely anymore; I wanted to be with someone. I looked up, I thought I felt someone. I started picturing myself coming. I held a face of hatred, sadness, and insanity. They were coming; I saw their short blonde hair. Their gray eyes. They scared me, I was afraid of myself. I, a Forbidden, was afraid of herself.

That was my nightmare. I now sat in my bed, shivering in fear. Would I be alone like that my whole life? Only to be killed or driven to insanity by myself? Please, I do not want that. I want to feel happiness. I want to return to a home, if I ever found one, and not be threatened by anyone. Or anything. I wanted to be able to talk to Mahaku again, and Gaara. I want to return to school and study with the other children. I didn't want to be by myself. Please, don't do this to me. My heart felt constricted, torn by pain. It hurt to breathe, I also felt very weak.

I tried to stand but I fell. When I lifted my self up, my body was shaking, with what I do not know. I held on to the wall, crying. I wanted to at least make it to Gaara's room. I fell again when I made it out of my room. I cut my arm and I felt a bruise arising on my leg. Again, I tried to stand. I slowly made it to Gaara's room. The room was closed but I tried to turn the knob very carefully. I managed to open the door and I fell on his floor. I was too weak to stand or move anymore. I tried to call out Gaara's name but it came out as a whisper. Father into the room, I heard Gaara muttering,

"What the fuck?"

My lungs were tightening; I was gasping for air. I could feel someone run over to me. I kept thinking about how the mist-like shadow was towering over me with their faces. I felt a hand on me and the dream came back. I screamed out against the hand that touched me. It withdrew suddenly. The screaming had taken out the oxygen form my lungs, I kept gasping. My muscles twitched here and there.

"Nagori! Get up here!" I heard Gaara yelling.

So it was him who touched me, not the mist-like shadow. I had thought it was the thing. It was almost a monster; no it was a monster. The pain in my chest eased a little once I noticed it was Gaara and I was not in my dream. I heard footsteps rushing up and then a sharp intake of air from someone at the door. The some one crouched next to me and asked urgently,

"Hateshi? Are you okay? Hateshi!"

It was Nagori. He was shaking me lightly and I forced myself to speak. They would think I'm dead otherwise. I breathed deeply and swallowed. My lungs felt like they were crushed, were my ribs broken?

"I'm…fine…can't…breath…lungs h-hurt." My voice came out rash and hoarsely.

Nagori turned me over so that my stomach was facing towards the ceiling. He lifted my head and poured some sort of liquid substance down my throat. It burned at first but then I noticed my breaths came in a much less forceful manner. It was getting easier to breathe.

"Gaara?…" I whispered.

My eyes came more into focus and I could see Nagori, he had lifted my head up. Then next to him, Gaara was there. He was standing with his arms folded. I smiled because I knew he was still there and he would always be.

"Gaara…" I muttered again.

This time, Gaara snapped out of his own world and he looked at me. Nagori and him placed me on Gaara's bed. Gaara was leaning on a wall, Nagori left. I smiled at him but he didn't smile back. His face was clear, but eyes were on mine.

'_Almost…he almost smiled.'_ I thought.

I kept on smiling, a tear fell from my right eye and slid down my cheek. Then I fell into a sleep where nightmares didn't exist. I dreamed beautiful things, a world without Forbidden. A world where I was with Gaara. A world without horrors. The last image I saw was Gaara's face.

"I…love…"

My energy ran out, my eyelids closed and I fell asleep. If only I had enough energy to utter the last few words, all I wanted to do was tell him that I had fallen in love with him. Even though our relationship was rocky the first few days we met, I had fallen in love with him. How does he feel about me? Maybe he doesn't care…maybe we're only friends. I guess I'll find out.

When I awoke, the sun was pouring onto my face and I shielded my eyes with a hand. I walked down the stairs to find Nagori in the kitchen, again. The boy's back was turned to me just like the first time. I smiled then said,

"I guess you love to cook don't cha?"

Nagori turned to me and returned the smile. He was so nice, a great friend really. He ushered for me to come closer. I walked over by his side, again Nagori was making pancakes. We talked and ate. After a while, I was wondering where Gaara was. I hadn't seen him for a while.

You shouldn't love him…you know.

'_Kashaku?…Is that you?'_

_Yes, I came to warn you. Loving that boy, it's going to bring you pain._

'_What are you talking about?'_

_Okay…I will explain…_

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

I've always wanted to put that. Sorry about the evil cliffhanger. 


	10. Until The Day I Die

thanks to my reviewers-

Desert Devil-chan-here's your update!

CryOfTheGhost-thank you! ah sorry about the cliff, just had to do it

Ragnarok-The Fallen Angel-did i make it too depressing?

Paprika012345-lmao

AzArGuRl-yeah i guess it was evil...but here's your update!

eternalwings15- well i haven't updated in a while too.

YounamemeArika-thank you!

Raincurtain-i took a long time but here ya go!

JessYukiOnna-lol yeah...sorry about that. whoot! riku's hot!

kibawhitefang -thank you!

ghostioanddaigona-haha that would entertain me as well

Black Roses666-must read your story...ahh i've been so busy but i will read it! sooner or later..

Reiana-lol i like brownies though.

I know this was short but please bare with me.

Chapter 10:

"Until The Day I Die"

'_Why shouldn't I love him Kashaku?'_

_Hitori…she'll cause you more pain than you'll be able to bear._

'_What are you talking about?'_

_She'll kill him. She wants revenge, she'll kill Gaara in front of you. She'll torture him in front of you. She'll tear your heart and leave you bleeding on the floor. That's what I meant._

'_I won't let her! Gaara isn't weak! He can stand up for himself!'_

_It's better if you don't love him, you'll feel less pain._

'_Shut up! You don't know anything!'_

I had screamed 'shut up' outloud. Nagori gave a scared and puzzled look at me. I stood up from my chair and ran upstairs. By the time I arrived to my room, I was in tears and I was sobbing. I locked my door behind me and fell on the bed, sobbing loudly.

How dare Kashaku say something like that? He was lying. Gaara wouldn't die, he wouldn't! Then, a vision of Hitori thrusting a sword into his chest appeared in my head. I began to cry more, wetting the pillow. I didn't want Gaara to die. What would I do without him? I would never let Hitori harm him, I'll defend him.

"Gaara…" I said weakly.

"I love…you."

It was true, over the time we had been together, what was it now half a year? Maybe a little less. I remembered how I had met him, while I was with my brother and his friends. I should thank my brother, if I see him, for taking em that day. My brother…I'm not Kusota, he's not my brother. I wish this could be different, I wish I could be someone else. I wanted my life to return to what it used to be.

Someone was knocking on my door softly. I knew it was Nagori, he would never pound the door. He treated everything with kindness. I wiped away the last of my tears and stood up. I opened the door trying to cover my face with a hand. Nagori smiled sadly and hugged me. He obviously knew that I had shed tears. I cried into his chest, I was afraid for Gaara and myself. I didn't know when but this had to end.

"Kashaku make me breakfast."

I opened my eyes and Nagori released me. Gaara was standing with his arms crossed, looking at us. He looked angry. I looked away because I didn't want him to see that I had been crying. Nagori greeted Gaara and headed downstairs. Then I noticed Gaara turned to me and said,

"You have better things to do than be affectionate with someone who could betray you."

"What?"

I was confused. Was Gaara jealous? He actually thought I had feelings for Nagori? I sighed and walked over to Gaara to explain to him what had happened. He looked away from me and walked downstairs before I could say something to him. I stopped myself from following him and thought about what Kashaku had said. Maybe it was better that I don't care for him. Maybe it was for the best. I didn't follow Gaara but retreated back to my room. I laid down, face up on the bed. A silent tear trickled down my face.

Why did I have to be alone? Why do I have to suffer? I loved Gaara and I only wish he could be happy. If the Forbidden didn't exist maybe we could live peacefully. Maybe I could have the life I've always wanted.

_See? You're already feeling pain_

'_Everyone feels pain Kashaku! Anyway, I love him, so I can't help it…'_

_Hateshi…what will you do if he doesn't love you back?_

'_Wh-what?'_

_He might not love you back._

I turned over trying to block out Kashaku's voice in my head. Truly, I wouldn't know what to do if Gaara didn't love me back. I would still love him but it would hurt, if he didn't return my feelings. Maybe Kashaku was right, maybe I should concentrate on different things.

I'm not quite sure when I fell asleep. All I knew was that when I awoke, I saw the night sky out the window. I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I grabbed my black sword and my regular sword and trotted downstairs and out the door. The wind blew my short blonde hair around. I sucked in the fresh air into my lungs. I hadn't trained in a long while. I headed to a quiet area and started to practice my sword hand.

I tried to use both swords but it was heavy and difficult. At one time, I slipped and fell. I cut my hand on my blue sword. I grunted and sat up. I had the Forbidden's cloak on. I pulled my hood up and brought my knees up to my chin. I could feel the blood trickling down my hand; I could also almost feel the blood trickling down my heart.

Silent tears poured down my cheeks. Where did I truly come from? I knew I was born in this…world but then I came to the world where I was known as Kusota. Why did I go there? Kashaku once told me that I was born with the ability to control the darkness and he was born with the ability to control light.

I heard footsteps walking towards me so I lifted my head. Gaara was standing over me, he wasn't angry anymore. When I saw him more tears came out of my eyes. I didn't want Hitori to harm Gaara…I didn't want her to kill him.

"What did I tell you about crying?"

I smiled and wiped the tears from my eyes. Gaara sat next to me and looked up at the sky.

"Kashaku told me."

I turned to him and uttered, "What?"

Gaara stood up, "Forget it."

I stood up next to Gaara. He just simply walked away. I don't know why, but that angered me. How could he just walk away from me like that? A flashback of my dream came through my head, the monster.

Later that night… 

I was sitting on the floor in my room. I thought about what Kashaku said. Maybe I shouldn't have feelings for Gaara.

_Hateshi! Hateshi! Listen to me._

'_What?'_

_You must revive me. Hitori is going to unleash her plan soon._

'_What plan?'_

_I do not know yet but you must revive me._

'_How would I do that?'_

_You'll need your dark sword…_

'_Why?'_

_Because you can control darkness and that's what the sword is, darkness._

'_I still don't get it. How is a sword going to revive you?'_

_It's not really reviving me. It's more of obtaining a body and attaching my soul to it._

'_How am I going to get a body!'_

_We'll have to borrow one…_


	11. The End of Innocence

This is final chapter in this Series.

"The End of Innocence and The Darkness In One's Heart"

"No!" I yelled in my head. I didn't want anything to happen to Gaara. What was I thinking? Would I actually have gone through with that? Would I betray Gaara's trust in me?

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Kashaku asked.

"Because I just started thinking" I barked back.

I walked into the bathroom to wash my face with water. As I lifted my face, I saw my reflection in the mirror. My blonde hair had grown quite a bit. It was now almost past my shoulders.

'My appearance has changed quite a bit this year.' I told myself.

I then felt guilty for being angry with Gaara. He never really did anything for me to be angry at him…well at least he didn't do anything today. I should be more reasonable with him. This, all this, must have been hard on him. Because of me, he lost everything he knew. His family, his world, his life. I sighed and retreated from the bathroom to Gaara's room. As I walked across the hall in the darkness, I felt afraid and cold and wounded. I felt alone, caught in the grasps of the shadows. A chill swept by and my hairs stood on end. I made my way to his door slowly, I was nervous. I knocked softly and waited for the answer that never came. I turned the knob and peeked through the crack.

"Gaara?" I whispered.

I opened the door a little more and looked closely inside. One foot at a time, I entered the room. I walked over and saw that his eyes were closed. His hair was messier than usual, and his chest rose and fell with each breath he took. I kneeled down beside him. words then flowed out of my mouth.

"Listen Gaara…I'm sorry for what I said. I know I should be more understanding towards you and…"

This was ridiculous. I was speaking with Gaara when he was asleep. How would he hear me? I looked at him and his open eyes stared back at me.

"What are you doing? Why are you in my room?" he asked, suddenly.

"I-I…"

"If you have something to say, say it."

"I just wanted to apologize. You know, for earlier."

"You woke me up to apologize?"

This caught me off guard. I didn't mean to upset him. Well too late, looks like I already did.

"Go away Kusota."

'I told him to call me Hateshi…' 

"But Gaara-"

"You're old enough to sleep by yourself."

"Why are you being so cold?"

The crimson haired boy looked up at the ceiling and I knew that look very well. I could see he was trying to suppress some painful memory. The cold hard look of his eyes staring off in the emptiness. I knew that feeling all too well.

"Because that was how I survived my childhood."

"Your…childhood?"

That was the first time he had spoken about something that was painful to him, something that showed he did have a weakness, something that showed he did care for something. Before that simple sentence, I had never thought about his past. I would have never guessed he has a past he would rather forget. I looked at him but he was submerged in his past, drowning himself with his memories. I placed my hand on his arm to bring him back to reality.

"Gaara…"

"Don't say it."

His muscles tensed and he stood up to stare out the window.

"Don't say you pity me. I don't need your fucking sympathy."

I opened my mouth and tried to speak as clearly as I could but my sentence came out in a hushed tone, because he was right.

"Maybe if you talk about it…"

**That was when he showed his true colors.**

"No! I will not talk about it! Now I know why you're father wanted to kill you, why do you insist on involving yourself in other's lives? Leave now."

'That sounds like something my father would say' 

"I just want to help."

"I don't need your help."

"I know I'm the one to blame. I should have taken responsibility but I can't change the past. I can only do what I can now…I'm going to get you back, back home. No matter what it takes, I'll get you back home."

I stared at him and with water at the sides of my eyes and tried to utter those words. My throat was dry and my nerves were killing me.

"Gaara I….I-I…."

Gaara turned and with a menacing look, he commended, "You look like a fool who can't speak properly."

I closed my eyes and drew in air….

"I love you."

Even though I had enough courage to tell him my real feelings, I wasn't brave enough to see or hear his reaction. I ran out the door, before I could be disappointed and broken hearted.

I withdrew myself and headed back to my room. I wasn't angry and I wasn't going to cry. Because of me, we're stuck in this hell of a place. He was right, my father was right. I was useless, I was annoying, and I didn't serve any purpose. I went back to my room and prepared. I pulled my Forbidden's cloak over my clothes, and I took both of my swords. As I walked out my door, I closed it. Not like it would matter anyway. I walked out the house and into the night. I was going to find Hitori and kill her, once and for all.

**-Back at Nagori's Home-**

'Did she really say that? Did she really mean it? Or did she just say that so I could come running after her?' Gaara was entranced with his thoughts.

Nagori entered the room, he knew Hateshi had gone off looking for Hitori. It was just a matter of time. He turned to Gaara, "She meant what she had said."

Gaara looked at Nagori, "How do you know what she said?"

"I overheard."

Gaara looked from Nagori to the window and back at Nagori.

"…Did she…mean that?"

Nagori nodded his head, "She meant it with her heart and soul. But are you going to go after her?"

Gaara looked at the window, he saw Kusota running in the direction of the Forbidden's mansion.

"She doesn't need me."

**-Back To Kusota/Hateshi-**

**Only the words of loneliness could describe her soul,**

**She walked on through the darkness despite the lost of control.**

**The teasing and crying took their toll,**

**If you'd look at her heart, you'd see a hole.**

**With no one to turn to, she kept it all inside,**

**The beast within her gashing and ripping her insides.**

**But she closed her eyes and turned away when the tears fell.**

**Will they notice me gone?**

**Can I escape this hell?**

**Can they see the pain beneath my eyes?**

**The pain will never stop until the heart dies.**

'I do need him, I'll always need him. I'm doing this for him; I have to remember that. I'm risking myself for him, I'm sacrificing myself for him.'

I walked up to the mansion, the first time I came here now seems so far away. It was about 6 months ago. I wonder how brother and mother are doing. Are Kankuro and Temari okay? I hope Gaara does well in school when he goes back. It's about winter vacation there isn't it? Vacation…. The snow…. I'll miss all that. I should have gone out more during winter. I would like to see the white snow once again.

I sighed, and headed up the porch of the mansion. Once I entered, I went to my room. I saw the plain bed and the plain walls. Did I really live here? I exited the room before any more unwanted memories came. I went to the backyard where I practiced so many times. I looked in a direction and saw a familiar building. It was where Gaara killed Kashaku, why hasn't Kashaku speaking as of late? Maybe he's finally gone.

"Hitori" I called.

I hope she would hear me, I would be wasting my voice if she weren't around. I closed my eyes as a strong; soothing wind began to blow. I felt a presence walking towards me from the back door of the mansion. I opened my eyes and looked up, my back towards the presence.

I smiled, "Hello."

I turned around and faced Hitori. Her eyes were full of avarice and wrath. She looked the same, she had the same short blonde hair and she had the same sad frown. She was a miserable girl, yes she was. But so was I.

"So you finally came. At least I don't have to go looking for you. Were you with that traitor?"

"Yes, Nagori was very kind to me."

Hitori smirked, her smirk was a nasty expression because her mind was filled with hate and death.

"Do you want to start or will I start?"

I shrugged, "Would it really matter? I'm going to kill you anyway."

Hitori reacted immediately, she came racing at me. Her silver Cross Bow sword came slashing at me. I blocked with my normal blue sword that Kashaku had given me. Hitori kept attacking while I was only blocking.

"Why don't you fight back!" She screamed at one point.

Just like when I had returned from this world for the first time, I had lost all sense of emotion. I only looked at her, her anger, her hate was polluting the air. But she was right, to kill her, I had to fight back. I didn't want to call on the darkness, which would make me feel guiltier. I didn't want to kill another person, but I vowed to destroy the Forbidden. So I did what I had to do, I came at her, and attacked her with both swords.

I pulled my hood up and left my swords next to the bleeding Hitori. She wasn't dead, but I don't think she will have enough energy to attack. I was walking away from her, I could hear her yelling and screaming but that was blurred out.

The sound of a gun shot.

I fell to the floor, gasping for air, shaking with pain. I touched the right side of my stomach, I was bleeding. I turned over, making those small little noises that animals make when they are about to die.

Hitori was laughing, a gun was in her hand, "Haha! I got this from **your** world. I knew it would be useful!"

The last of my energy was bleeding away. I would not die without killing her first. I coughed up blood but I concentrated on my sword. The one that consumed Rosuto. The black mist that I was so afraid of came back. Hitori, preoccupied with her success, didn't notice the darkness engulfing her. When she realized it was too late. She started to scream as her body turned to darkness. Soon, she was gone.

Now I was at peace. I had destroyed the Forbidden. But one question never was answered, who am I? Is Hateshi my name or was Kusota my true identity? Maybe I would never know. Maybe it was an enigma, maybe all of this was. Did I go through life to just die? Did my life amount to anything anymore? I wish I could only say goodbye. Goodbye Gaara, goodbye Mahaku, mom, Kankuro and Temari. Bye Nagori and thank you…

Thank you for everything…everyone.

And then I closed my eyes, ready for the silence.

Flashbacks came to head, I could suddenly remember everything. I saw Gaara in many of them, and Nagori was in a few too.

I felt droplets on my face, I opened my eyes, and stared at the sad sky. Snow would have been better, but this is all right. I now heard their voices. They're calling out to me. The voices are faint and I can't make out the words but it's getting louder now, and louder. Two people run towards me, I could feel their presence. I smiled when I saw Gaara running and Nagori behind him. They were calling out to me. They came, and Gaara bent over and looked at me. What was in his eyes?

"Kusota! What…I-I-I'm sorry…I can't believe…No…please don't…"

Yes, that was guilt in his eyes, with sorrow.

"Please Kusota! Hang on! Please!"

Nagori had come too, He could only stare, I guess he didn't want to believe it.

I coughed up more blood, my insides were burning with pain.

"Gaara…I did it. I killed her. Are you proud?"

He looked at me, "Yeah, I am. But you can't go. Your brother will kill me if…"

"Gaara…"

"Yes?"

"Tell Mahaku, I miss him."

"Don't be stupid, You can tell him yourself!"

I smiled and a tear fell from my eyes, "Did you hear what I said before?"

He nodded.

"It's true. I just wanted you to know that…"

I just wanted to rest now. So I closed my eyes. It hurt…to be here. Maybe if I fall asleep…the pain will go away.

"Kusota! Stop! Open your eyes!"

"I'm…tired…Good night…"

Nagori couldn't believe his eyes. He never thought…

Gaara was yelling at Kusota and shaking her. She had closed her eyes…for good.

Gaara held Kusota, he wasn't crying but he just held her. Like a sad little boy.

"Wait…Get off of her." Nagori said.

Gaara complied without a single remark. He said some complex words and a light started to light up around them…

Darkness. This world is full of it, but within darkness there is sometimes, a light.

A beam of light hit me. Instinctively, I held a hand over my eyes. Slowly, I arose from my slumber. I sat up but pain emerged from my stomach. Where was I? My vision was coming back to me, I looked around and felt the room to be familiar. I turned to my side, and Gaara was there. He was facing the other way, but it was Gaara. This was Gaara's room. I remember now. Why am I here?

Wasn't I…?

Didn't I….?

I poked Gaara on the head.

"What do you want?" He sleepily asked of course with a tone of rudeness.

"Why am I here?"

"…Nagori saved you and brought us back here."

'He saved me? So he truly was my friend.'

"Where is he?"

"…He's here, in this world."

"Where? I want to thank him! I knew he'd help out!"

"Okay we'll go see him. Take a shower in Temari's room, She has extra clothes that will fit you."

**An Hour and A half Later**

I was dressed in black, as was Gaara. I had on a black long skirt and a nice elegant black top. The wind blew through my hair as I stood next to Gaara and looked at Nagori.

**I was looking at a grave.**

"But why…?"

Gaara replied, "He sacrificed his life for yours."

The tombstone was carved with his first name and the date in which he died. At he bottom was a quote.

"Can you show her that I loved her?"

Gaara explained that those were Nagori's last words. He loved me, he knew that I was in love with Gaara so he respected that fact. But he showed his love by sacrificing himself for me. I grabbed Gaara's hand and cried. I cried for Nagori, I cried for all that I had been through. I cried for the deaths I witnessed and for the ones I was the cause for. I cried for my father, my mother and for Mahaku.

"Come on Kusota…Let's go see you're brother and your mother."

**But most of all, I cried for the end of Innocence, The darkness in one's heart and for Nagori.**


	12. An AnnouncementNew Story

**AN ANNOUNCEMENT**

_**Okay, Right now I'm working on a Fullmetal Alchemist EdwardXOc Fic.**__**It will be called "Dancing In The Wind" but I might change the title. Expect that story in a month.**__**(If it wins the polls)**_

_**But I'm also working on a GaaraXOc story so...PM me and there will be a poll. Whatever story wins, I will post that one up. (In about a month also)**_

_**Okay so you have some information about the stories, I will create a summery for each then vote.**_

_**EdwardXOc Summery**_

_**I ran away because I let him die and I was afraid. The pain was too much. A girl who's father died ran away from home when she was 8. Now that she lives in an orphanage, A blonde boy by the age of 15 has just entered the orphanage. He says he's looking for his brother Alphonse. He's running away from the orphanage tonight. Should she leave as well? Or is she too afraid to come in contact with her horrid past?**_

_**GaaraXOc Summery**_

_**I was on a mission when I saw...Gaara covered in blood, standing next to a dead boy's body. I didn't know...When I saw his face...All I saw was a tortured, cornered, misunderstood soul. Why does he interest me so? Why am I not afraid? If I get close to him...Will I die too? I can relate to him though...I'm an orphan as well with only one sibling, an older sister who shows me everything but love. We both have no one to love us but if I try...Could I save him?**_

_**Okay I know it was really vague but I came up with them on the spot. So hurry and vote! There is a deadline and that is September 9th, 2006!**_


	13. Attention!

**AN ANNOUNCEMENT**

_**Someone has decided to steal my Gaara story, "The Soul That Found It's Missing Piece."**_

_**A very nice person decided to PM and tell me this. I am grateful to them and of course, I think this is wrong. **_

is the link to this horrid individual's profile where my story is being wrongly posted; I was personally thinking of having a flame war and filling that person's inbox with hate mail.


	14. Another Sequel?

_I know there were a lot of unanswered questions after the end of the sequel "The Forbidden's Revenge." And I wrote this up a couple of months ago thinking about what happened after Gaara and Kusota returned. Surely everything wouldn't be the same, right? Well let me know if this interests you and if a lot of people are up for it, I'm sure I can write one more sequel to my first ever fanfic._

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Gaara, Temari, or Kankuro. I only own my OCs and the story.**_

_**Enjoy!**

* * *

_

_Chapter One_

_The night air is cold against my hard, dead skin._

_Oxygen seems to be harder to inhale nowadays._

_Is it because I know you're there? Somewhere?_

_Or is it because my time is up here?_

I've never been able to imagine how I had lived my life before I met Gaara and before I was taken into that other world to become a Forbidden. Now I wonder _how exactly I have existed before this._ I can't imagine any other way to live my life, without guilt. I feel it everyday, pressed up against my neck, rising up, and being released as vomit. It feels heavy and burns my insides as it travels up my throat. After it's released, my insides are raw and I always feel weak. As if I've run all night long without any food. I hid inside my covers while I'm lightheaded and dizzy. My brother comes every night to check on me and to see if I'm doing fine. I reassure him, as every other sister would, but his expression tells me he doesn't believe me. He's worried, I know, because I can see his eyebrows furrowed together and his mouth tightly pursed. My mom makes regular appointments at the doctor's office, but they never really know what's wrong.

I'm always worried if my sickness has to do with that other world. In the deep, dark corners of my mind, I'm afraid of ever going there again. Those months were horrifying nightmares I never want to relive again. I could have lost everything and everyone in only a minute there. Here, things were safe, things were certain. There, anything could happen and it frightened me. But no one is after me right? Everyone is dead. And that fact alone sends chills up my spine. I had barely escaped Hatori's consuming rage, not to mention the boy who still puzzles me, Kashaku. How he was so connected with me has always been an enigma I've wanted to know. But he's dead, just like every other Forbidden. And again, the fear crawls up my spine, is that my fate as well? It would make sense, the captain always goes down with the ship.

I've been able to talk to Gaara about all that's happened. It's taken a while and it was extremely awkward at first but now I've finally been able to speak. At first, he asked me what that world was and how it works and so on. I shrugged more times than not; I barely knew anything about that world. All I knew was that The Forbidden was an organization made by the government. That's it. I didn't know what type of government it had or who was in power there. I don't even know what year it is there or how people lived. I was completely ignorant of that other world. Hell, I didn't even know its name.

But I was glad that this struggle was over. I would never have to see that world again, I only have to forget it and move on. But it's difficult when I still had the blonde hair from that other world. It's longer now, a bit past my shoulders but it's still blond. Blond isn't my original hair color and it feels like a weight, reminding me of the past I want to forget. And I haven't been able to throw away my sword or my cloak. Just in case I'll need them again, although I have no idea why. I just can't let go of the past but I wish I could. And then this strange sickness overcomes me. I'm vomiting everyday whether I like it or not. My energy is at an all time low and I've fainted a couple of times. At first I wasn't worried about it but now I am, after Gaara told me his thoughts about it. He had asked me if I thought my sickness had to do with the other world. In short, I knew what he meant. He was really concerned about it and now, I am too.

_What if my time in this world has come to an end?_


End file.
